I didn't get the job, *J* & *A* news & more!
2003-03-11 || 4:28 a.m.

I am just the fattest person ever!! Thats the way I feel @ tha mo. I never seem 2 be able 2 lose any weight & it just drives me up the wall. That's the problem w/ living w/ three other ppl...you can never really go through many days w/o food. Well maybe if it was just *L* & *L2* since they don't seem to give a rats ass what I do w/ my body but *K*...she'll notice near the end of Day 1 of my fasting. I will ask for water & she will ask me "did u eat?" When I was in Denny's thats what happened. We usually went a bit early even when *L* drove us & the server or hostess on @ tha time would ask if we'd like anything to drink & I would say water & *K* would ask me that question just becoz I want water...whatever.

I went to the mall w/ my friend today & she bumped into some kids from school who wanted to kick in her arse! I must say I totally think they're jealous cuz they seemed fat & ugly & my friend is so skinny & pretty[well she doesn't think she really is]. We thought they were going 2 come after us[well her]so we went the other way walking really fast & went 2 talk to a security guard. They came five minutes later & asked info[this reminded me of when that guy felt me up in Zellerz~well the giving info on what happened & its just becoz I had to do the same thing]& I'm going back late this morning about 11:30am to the West End & going w/ her to fill out forms & stuff to get a restraining order against her! HA! Then later on tonite me & *K* are taking a cab 2 Fort Saskatchewan & get to see Dan! Woohoooo! *sarcasm* I know there will be a fight someitme there. My mom & him always fite also *K* doesn't get along w/ him much anymore...!!

On the way home I ended up bumping into one of *J*s friends who he used to play Warhammer w/ all the time but now *J* is too busy alot of the time & I hope becuz of work & stuff ONLY becoz when I was w/ him he would of always been playing still & not spending time w/ me so much. ANywho we talked for awhile about Warhammer[me not minding since its one of the thingz I'm trying 2 get into..hey I never played it before so its something new!], about his schooling[he goes 2 U of A], about his ex[also my friend]who moved to Winnepeg :( & of course like always I ended up bringing up *J* & *A*. He's never met *A* before but heard alot about her. He doesn't think they are going to last alog time becuz he is trying to impress her too much all the time & she's getting sick of it, she's too perky & ditzy & he's a goth & when I said I hope *j* is happy w/ her he gave me this "I dunno about that" kind of look & even said he doesn't know about that! So I don't know whats happening? All I can say is that if I felt the same way I did last week I would of been doing the "dance of joy" in my head & saying "Woohoo woohoo!" also in my head becuz they mite not last too long especially if none of them think its going to work but instead I'm hoping everything works out for the best for them even if they do stay together & find a way to be happy or if they break up I'm there for the both of them! I wish I could tell that I'm here for them but it's kind of hard when you don't talk to them much. *J* doesn't call here & I only talked to *A* one time since they started dating. But yah I wish them luck! :) I've been happy for them since late Friday[the same day I hated her still lol but 10 minutes later!]& still don't feel my blood level go up when I think of her[good thing!]...its weird how your feelings can change so damn quickly.

And yah I got the phone call from Roger's last nite & nope the positions been filled by some other bitch or bastard...*grr* If the person hired for Mariposa or for Rogers didn't have to apply I would of got the job knowing my luck. I hope they hate it & quit!! If I don't like it there I will start looking for a new job already & then put in my two weeks! See I got turned down twice & I automatically think no one will ever want me for an employee. Denny's did but they only hired me cuz of my sister. :( I will keep looking! I'm surprised I got no job @ the Roger's by Southgate cuz they have a "Now Hiring All Positions" sign but then again its ME...they would probably call a bum they see walking by outside & ask him if he wants a job there & hire him rite away before hiring me. Whatever....

Hmmmm what else??? I dunno...I will be up for the rest of the day cuz I got to sleep for five hours at least so that should be fine for now & will save the nap for when my mom & Dan start fighting & will walk away from them. I'm going to go watch a thinspiration movie now. Just 2 get my mind off of my weight & to help me fast! :)