I am writing becoz I can
2003-05-20 || 2:28 p.m.
Its so weird how taking one pill a day can change your mood & how you like yourself. You don't take the pill & you are crying constantly wishing you were dead & assuming no one will like you blah blah & like a few days after you take a pill a day..your mood goes up & so does your confidence & everything & you are like "No more caring about what others think!" & you like yourself more & you are out doing more than you ever did before. Thats like me. I haven't cried so much since I started taking my pills like the doc said too & missing 0 days in between. As you already know I am so much more positive now & don't hate myself no more. I don't think of death or anything & know that if someone says anything to me or my friends or family that they will get a piece of my mind! I admit that I still feel I need to lose weight & didn't eat anything yet today but besides that I feel so much positive.
Yah & I still think about *J* sometimes. I listened to the Divide By Zero CD yesterday & it brought back memories of being with him & when I was the one who he'd sit with listening to the other bands that play at the show...not that b**** *A*. Anywho whatever...!! So now I am like "I would rather go out with Matt or back out with *J* again if I could" whoever makes their move first I will be happy to be his girlfriend! ;D
Hmmm...what else?? Dan's been being a pain in the butt again lately. Last nite he smacked my butt & I told him not to do it & he did it again. I was like "I can charge you for sexual harassment!" Eww it just brings bad memories of the last time I drank or went to the bar & those 40 year old...ugh...gross...plus the man in Zellers. Oh can't forgot the man on the bike that smacked me when he passed me. Why do people love to smack butts so much?! What the hell is so important about that?! Whatever...
Hmmmm...I don't know what else to talk about. I will be going to Edmonton to spend time with people before my jobs both need me alot more. I will spend time with Deanna & my sister the most cuz they mean more to me then other people! Not to be rude to others but even if I forgive & forget what people do...it still hurts knowing what they did! You know what I mean...but I got to go now so I will try to write later on in a few days...!