Its nothing to do with HER...its all to do with HIM
2003-06-24 || 12:38 p.m.
I think I changed my mind about Andrea. James is still the jerk I thought he was for awhile. As you noticed I'm not writing their names as J & A anymore cuz why should I hide their names since peple are going to find out anyway sooner or later that I am talking about those people. But yah I don't think that I am exactly mad at her anymore. I mean what did she do besides date him? She probably has no idea how he tried to shut me out of his life if he could get away with it. She just met him, liked him & ended up dating him, he's the one who spent alot of time with her more than me...so why is she to blame?! All those names I called her just becuz she is dating him is immature. Also now i know more how she must of felt when she saw me @ the concert...I mean know i am slowly starting to feel how she must of felt seeing her bfs ex. I mean I haven't been through that yet but still I think that if he was still hanging out with his ex Lisa when I was with him that I would of felt upset. She's just worried probably...can she help it?! Now this will be all garbage if i ever find out that he cheated on me with her & she knew I was with him...then all the names I called her still stand. But until then whats the point of calling an innocent person a shitload of names? I don't want her to go thru this emotional pain that I am going through...I just want him to just so he knows what its like.
I hope you feel guilty
You know I am suffering
Always thinking about you
The pain you put me through
I just hope that she dumps him sooo fast that he's scarred for life from being in love & that he wished he never hurt me the way he did. I really wish I didn't have to say this but like I told my friend I am speaking the truth. I wish that there was a chance I could meet up with him & say this all to his face! >:) I don't hate him...don't get me wrong I don't hate him..I am just p.o'd @ him & after he knows what I have been thru then everything will be cool.
Did I tell you I might be going to court? Chances are it will be as soon as Thursday coming up[26th of June]but I will write about that another time.
Nothing new on my E.D besides that its coming back again. Probably becuz of everything thats going on. I now know how my friend feels about how she tries to help people but they don't want it from her...a few days ago my mom was doing the laundry & I asked if she needed any help with opening the door cuz her hands were full & she's like "DO you think I am helpless or something?" & that pissed me off but whatever...next time she needs help then she's not getting it.
But thats all i have to say rite now. Sorry its always about James & people like that but when i feel like writing thats all I can think about! Hopefully tons of new things will happen like me dating Matt! ;) *wink wink* no I am kidding I would much rather him be happy with Heather since she seems like an awesome girl to him! ;)
But yah I am out of here for now...I will be back tomorrow though!