Raped...
2004-08-11 || 12:56 p.m.
Alot has happened since I wrote in here last. The next day after I wrote in here Carl called & he said how sorry he was that he didnt call & he was upset about it. He had a stressful month with his ex & everything. And I of course believed him but now were friends & everything hes calling me now, were hanging out & he's always there for me. Its so weird. But I am not complaining. Were still talking now so thats good.
Also I got raped early Friday morning. I think it was like a date rape drug or something cuz I spent the nite at a friends house[a guys but not Carls]who I spent the nite at a few times & nothing happened so I didn't think anything of it this time either. But I had a couple drinks, smoked a bit of weed[yes I have been doing that lately but not too much]& I felt so weird[a different weird then I usually feel when I drink & smoke weed]& ended up passing out. Its weird cuz I knew what wuz going on but felt like I couldn't move, talk, cry or anything while this was happening. He took advantage of me & I didn't say he could. He didn't even ask & if a guy puts himself in you when you either say no or you don't actually give him permisson...its called rape & if the cops don't do anything about it then I will make sure he gets what he deserves. I am doing not so bad then I thought i would being raped. I think if I was like totally clean & sober...& he did it the "pinning you down" way of raping it would be different. But he's going to pay.