Me & Carl a couple??? I do want to but...
2004-12-09 || 2:39 p.m.
I am so confused rite now & dont know what to do. Remember Carl? The guy who fucked this girl when I was rite there with them? Well yah after trying to ignore his phone calls he kept calling, leaving messages, calling, leaving messages & stuff til I finally answered. We met up to talk about what happened & he said he didnt blame me for being mad at him. He really wanted me to be his friend still which I still am. I once in awhile still sleep with him but not as much as I used to. Get this though. Tuesday nite he asked me if I wanted to start dating! I was happy to hear those words but also thinking of "that nite". I wouldnt be able to trust him when we werent together. I even told him that the nite we finally talked again. I was like "I wouldnt be able to be your girlfriend anyway becuz the way you are when you go out & party...I wouldnt be able to trust you" He also said he doesnt know if he IS ready for a relationship. Like why would he want to date someone if he doesnt know if he is ready. What if I said a definite yes & then a month later he said he wasnt? I would be like "Make up your mind buddy!" He said we mite as well date becuz we do things that couples do. I want to date someone when they know they really want a relationship & someone I know I can trust becuz hes way to horny 24/7 & hes not going to want to masturbate everynite that hes horny & Im not there. Hes going to go out & do other girls. When hes TAKEN so I am going to tell him how I feel tonite probably. Depending if my sister is coming or not. I wanted to last nite but he was too drunk & I didnt feel like saying it in the bar. Yah as much as I love hearing him say "I have a girlfriend" talking about me I wouldnt be able to trust him. He says he doesnt cheat on girlfriends but you never know with him anymore. All I know is that I feel happy around him & love being in his arms & talking to him. But anyway I better go to class now so will write in here again later. Next week sometime probably.