What do guys want?
2001-12-05 || 6:21 p.m.
A few days ago I was depressed about James & mad & everything becoz of how he is getting controlling & getting mad about me not "sucking" him down there & what made it worse was that he was supposed to pick me up after band practice[his]& go to his house & it ususally ends around 10 or 11...he didnt come. We waited & watched TV or the internet & stuff & I was giving up becoz it was getting late & he wasnt there so I am like "Oh NOW hes forgetting me! How sweet!" but his car came at like 1 am & even if he came kind of late I was still glad! He wasnt even a jerk this time either & yeah the sweetest thing he did was hold the doors open for me in his apartment but thats better than being a jerk & trying to pressure me into sucking him like he sometimes does! We cuddled alot & I loved being with him & I am going to be seeing alot of him for the next 3 or 4 days! Most of the time at Dennys but after I will be going to his house too & to the Dennys Christmas party ...but MAN am I sick of always going to his house his house his house & at night when I do?! We never do anything else & I wish he would do something sweet to me! I can think of a ton of things I can do for him but I will wait until he does something for me first! Like for Christmas he asked what I Want & I was going to give him a list of what I want & it will just say "YOU" like all I want for Christmas is YOU! I hope it would be sweet for him but I dont know...my friend is rite...I shouldnt do things like that for him becoz of things he did...but everytime I think I should break up with him I cant becoz I when I see him I am like "I cant do it!" =( But I dont want him to hurt me alot...just becoz he didnt do anything bad last time I saw him it doesnt mean he wont NEXT time rite?! What should I do????