I cut my arm up today...!
2001-06-02 || 8:50 p.m.
Today was one of my first days off in over a week so I stayed up until almost 3 last night. It was weird doing that but I did it. I e-mailed my friend a few times & stuff.
I was supposed to be going to a bar with James today or next Saturday but I am not sure when....& I usually would be really excited about it but for some reason I am not. I am happy but for some reason not. Thats weird. *sigh* I havent been too happy lately really. Especially today. I even got the biggest urge to slit my own fucking wrists! I used a razor to do it...I didnt slit my wrists but I cut my arms about 10 times. Big mistake becoz now what are peopel going to be saying at Dennys? We have a short sleeved shirt for our uniform & it will definitely be noticable. I dont know what the point of living is sometimes. I was too scared to slit my wrists becoz just cutting my own arm was painful enough.
My sister & I got in this huge fight. I met her from Dennys becoz she went today & I go tomorrow & I wanted to go to Macs after & I got all this candy & junkfood becoz I was in this huge mood for it & Keri started getting all insulting & saying "lets go home fatty wannabe" & things like that "you cry like two year olds...your sensitive like two year olds" & I ignored her most of the way home & when we were almost home Keri was getting on my nerves & I heaved a twinkie at her! It was half gone & I just chucked it at her becoz i was getting annoyed by her complaining. I just got plain fucking sick of her insults & just threw the thing at her & it got in her hair & face. Truthfully I think it was funny! Thats what she got for fucking insulting me...geez!!
I am not going to let people fucking tell me what to do anymore becoz I had enough of that fucking crap & will not let people get whatever they want from me! Sometimes I will but not all the time!!!
Great...tomorrow is a fucking weekend & I have to go to Dennys on a busy day! What a great fucking life becoz I know I will be fucking pissed off if anyone yells at me or anything. I so hate it when people yell at me but i am not going to go all crying this time I hope.
Sorry for all the swearing but I am in a bad mood & everything.