I dont know how I feel about James anymore...!
2001-04-22 || 9:43 a.m.
I dont really know how I feel about James becoz sometimes I dont care for him that much anymore & then[this will sound corny]next time I see him I WANT HIM BAD!!! I will get jealous of every girl that talks to him!! Today he just rubbed my back & I got all weird inside! I know it doesnt mean anything but Ive never felt this way before about a guy I actually know...not since like Jr High!! But I know that hes not doing it becoz he likes me...becoz he does it to alot of people!! Awww I miss him already becoz I am off for two days & then the next week I wont have the same shift as him for the whole week & I will only see him at the end of his shifts!! Awww this sucks...!! Oh well. Life is a bitch aint it?? Speaking of bitches I think this one new server named Rhonda is the reason why he isnt going to be doing late night anymore really...shes there instead!! I didnt meet her yet but I am just mad that I wont see James anymore...corny as that sounds!! Now REALLY speaking of bitches there is this daytime server that comes in at 5 am & she is a real bitch to me. She will talk & stuff to every other staff member there but she always complains to me about something I did wrong!! Like the floors arent clean enough or something...! She hardly says anything to me except that & she says it in a rude way!! But everyone likes her so...!
I dont know what I am going to do about my friend. I think leaving her alone & letting her be happy would be a better thing to do. I messed up way too many times & she deserves to be happy so I am leaving her alone. I think I will still buy her a 17th birthday present!! I still care for her & want her to be happy even if it doesnt sound like it...coz after everything shes done for me....!!! She was always there for me when I was upset & everything!! So I will leave her alone so she can be happy.
But I miss her still... =( Well I got to go. I will write in the diary again tomorrow or something!!