I feel like a loser...!
2001-04-13 || 9:04 a.m.
Wholly crap last night sucked!! Not only becoz James wasnt there but becoz it was sooo fucking busy[stupid good friday] & I had to stay in the back with the dishes which is something I didnt do before really...but still I thought I would stay caught up but was I fucking wrong?!? Graeme had to stay & help me get caught up & the daytime server assistant helped too. I am so fucking slow & feel like such a loser right now...god I feel like I cant do anything right on my own & need help with everything. Everythign is so fucked up right now. I ended up getting upset in front of Lance & he was nice about it & asked if I am okay & everything. He is so nice =) I alwayz feel like a loser when i mess up but its the way I am. I hope Grame isnt mad...becoz I didnt mean to make him stay behind. Plus I miss my friend & I want to get out of this anorexia/bulimia thing. I am so stupid.
On a better note...I really want to tell James how I feel about him! I think that him saying that I shouldnt be embarassed is making me want to tell him I think he is cute & that i feel happier around him =) I think that him & Lance would make perfect boyfriends[not with each other of course lol]...! He doesnt have to be in the room & I still feel happy thinking about him. I want to tell him that!! =D