All I seem to care about is one person...!
2002-02-05 || 7:58 p.m.
Does it seem like all I care about is James!? He's all I ever think about day or nite & he's all I ever talk about day or nite. I talk about him to people at Denny's, to my sister, to my friends that I have, to my parents & even to myself!!! The thing is...I complain about him...the way he doesn't do things for me & the way he does his job & the way he does this or that. Then I say I have more feelings for him?? How is that? Yah & the only thing I can think of rite now why I like him is his looks becoz he hasn't done anything for me lately...!
Kay when my friend is upset & her close friend is dying...here I am talking about my boyfriend & the horrible way he treats me. She's always telling me to dump him coz of it & so is alot of other people & I won't even listen coz I am so attracted to him & can't let him go...I should try calling her but my fricking phone is dead for awhile & the only phone that we have is my sisters cell phone & I don't even think she wants me to use up the minutes on the phone & Dee is worth it but I'd rather be able to talk to her longer than the cell will let me. I should leave her alone anyway becoz I don't want to upset her...come on Brad...you can get through this. DO it for Dee & the rest of your family & friends!! For yourself too becoz you need to live for along time...!!
Sigh...I wish I had more friends than I do. I'm sick of always wanting to do things with my sister & now even my bf coz we never do anything anyway...!! We've been together during the day but its only from spending the nite & we are sleeping during the day or going to the mall to find Warhammer crap!! But my brain is starting to work better coz I am starting to wonder why I am with him rite now...coz I mean I've done soooo much for him & he's done squat for me besides when we first started dating!! And Christmas..yah I said he didn't have to get me anything & I thought I would be fine with that as long as we were together but then people told me that he should of becoz its expected & I remembered everything I got him since we started dating...it was pretty long & then I remembered what I want to get him for Valentines Day & his birthday & when i'm in malls I try to find something for him...but I don't know anymore. Then I remembered what he did to my Christmas present to him. I told him how much he meant to me &...okay I don't need to say the same things coz I know I told y'all what I did to him! Anywho I will talk to him tonite if he comes or if he calls[no if he come coz I want to talk to him in person]& tell you how it turns out.
See I can ramble on about him but the same things & never know what to say to my friends...! Do you think it seems like I don't care??