New Years Resolutions!!
2001-12-31 || 2:44 p.m.

Well this is the last day of 2001...I will always remember this year becoz of some of the things that happened...I first turned the legal age to drink in the states...my first real job...my first boyfriend & I think thats about it. Its kind of pathetic that I got my first actual job & first boyfriend NOW like this year when I am 21 & not at least 14 or 15...but when I am out of my teens. I wasted my teen years depressed in my room & drooling over celebrities I would never get...I never knew what I wanted to be when I was older...I never cared to get my liscence or to move out or find a job...my mom had to keep yelling at me to do it if anything & that was when I was fricking 18 or 19!!! But for 2002 I am going to be different than I always was...like I am actually going to try to go to college, I am not going to be really sweet to people who fricking hurt me & I am not sure what else rite now.

Ive been pretty blue the last few days...no matter what kind of mood it seems like I am in I am always sad. And its becoz of no one else but my own fricking boyfriend!!!!! Hes been pretty much ignoring me & leaving me out becoz of his precious "game" & everything. The only reason why I know that we are boyfriend/girlfriend is the making out thing...! But I always am the one who wants to go out, I spoil him with flowers & stuff, I always tell him how much he means to me or how I want to stay with him for along time...sometimes I will ask him if we can see each other tonite or tomorrow & he will be like "Well I feel like being alone..." or "We have a game tonite" or something of the like & I am like "FUCK OFF!!" but in my head of course. Also for Christmas I gave him two shirts & a Lord Of The Rings Book & gave them to him on Christmas Eve & then a few days later we were in his car & I saw the box that my present was in the backseat of his car...there was something black that looked like one of the shirts there too & I was like "Doh.." becoz he just threw it in the backseat & forgot about it...so a few days later I told him about finding it & asked if really liked the presents or not & hes like "Oh no no I love the presents but I keep forgetting to take them out" & I felt bad but also hurt too becoz he forgot his gfs present becoz I would of kept his present in my lap or the front seat & took it in the same nite & loved it no matter what becoz its from him but everyone at Dennys are telling me "DUMP HIM HE WILL HURT YOU! HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU! HE TREATS YOU BAD! BLAH BLAH!" & I am going to try to listen coz theyre rite but I like him too much & its something I cant help...!

But one of my New Years Resolutions will be to yell at him or anyone else if I have to or to tell them when they are doing something wrong & not stay with them no matter what!

Well I got to go...oh joy...tonite I do late nite..I am hostessing tonite with the major drunk partying people! Its going to be hell!!! But I will bring one of those hats & noise makers to the resterant for when its 12! Maybe i should go to the cooks line & hug & kiss James when its 12 heehee!! =)

Fat ||Thin