Blake didn't show up...not that he promised anything...
2003-02-22 || 7:35 a.m.
Last nite Blake was supposed to come to Denny's so I was so happy! He wasn't coming for sure but still I was hoping...but i don't think he did becoz he knew I was the hostess for 11-7 & he would of seen my nametag. Well so i don't think he showed up. also I think I mite of made him leave me when I was talking to him becoz i kept calling myself boring cuz I took awhile to write anything to him on the messenger & then I told him sorry i am boring...then asked him about his family. i was waiting for awhile, went to check something & then it said he was offline. I was like "Awww..." cuz I'm sick of losing people becoz I'm stupid. I always do things or say things that make peple leave me. Hmmm why don't I have a bf or many friends? Cuz I'm stupid.
I wish I could love to stuff myself like people do. I hate seeing people say theyre hungry & then make themselves full & then be like all happy they have food in them. I get all weird & antsy if I am feeling full & I HAVE to do something...if there is no chance I can get rid of it the usual way I do i HAVE to move around to excersize it off & I still feel fat. Aren't eating disorders fun sometimes? *rolls eyes*
Oh & guess who came into Denny's this morning? Yep JAMES. I know he's allowed since he's human & works there & all but why was he there then?! He has to do 3-11 today & he was there at fricking 6:30am!! Enh he's going to be tired but its his own fault. Why wasn't he @ home fucking his bitch?? No I'm so kidding...I just feel so mean rite now & I am allowed to sometimes. Everyone is. I'm just trying my best to get over him & its hard to & I still miss him. Its nothing against Andrea or James...I guess I am obviously just jealous of her still. I really hope something happens between me & Blake if he is still around or if not him someone else. Fat chance James will want me back & if he does...I dunno. Anywho James said hi & I said hi back & him, Ray & Wendy were all laughing & bugging me! Meanies lol. I was acting all weird & stuff but I think its mainly cuz of James being around & how i feel about him & stuff...it just made me act that way. It sure annoyed my sister[we did the same shift last nite]& she's all "You were acting annoying" Shut up bitch! Plsu I saw James staring a few times. I dunno why I care about him so much though...I wish I didn't.
But I will add more tomorrow & talk when I'm awake okay?? I'm tired now.