Aren't you shocked that I actually wrote in here again?!
2001-11-25 || 1:35 a.m.
Yes I know I never write in here as much anymore but what's the point if you have the same boring life as usual? Even the James talk is probably getting boring becoz we always happy or it seems like he is ignoring me & by the next time I write in here then we are happy again so thats nothing new to talk about. But yeah we are happy again & I wish I could of stayed with him tonite for half of a shift but nope...I already started at 2pm & even if I need the extra hours/money for reasons I won't say coz then I will be blabbing for hours[but its about COURT]
the manager doesn't think I can do it!! It pissed me off coz I need those godamn hours & I can't becoz a fricking loser doesn't have faith in me I would of did a 2pm to 3am shift today & then went back at noon-9pm & then went to see my babe for the nite & went home early MOnday morning[coz James is going to Saskatoon Mon morning] & then go to West Ed with my sister that day & that is my plan but I guess I will be getting my normal hours instead becoz he doesn't think I can even do half of another shift & then go home for awhile & then go back...PEOPLE DID WORSE before!!! It pissed me off when someone doesn't believe i can do something! =( Well I got to go..I only wanted to write in my diary becoz I haven't for weeks I'm sure...! I can't wait to see James becoz he's one of the best things in my life rite now but I'm sure that that will change someday becoz he's really hot & the really hot guys seem to end up being jerks!! But you never know...he could be the one! ;) I'll hope!!! =D I think it would of been last Wednesday morning me & James kissed before me & Hilarie left...& it was the best kiss that I remember from him! It was so soft & it made me feel gooey inside & I was all happy inside for the rest of that day & of course I didn't want to leave!! =( I wanted to stay with him longer!!! I know that if i was like really depressed or mad or something that day that the kiss would of made everything totally better!! =)
Is there ever a time when you wish that your boyfriend or girlfriend could be like another person? Like even just one little thing? I sometimes feel that way about James...! Like when Keri tells me what happens with Lance that day...the way he talks to her or sticks up for her or the the things he says to her...he sounds like he cares about her so much & heck they aren't even dating...remember he's GAY...& then I remember me & my BOYFRIEND...has he ever stuck up for me? Nope...never has he yet. And look at all the things that Lance has done for her when they knew each other...he gave her his warmer winter jacket & gloves, he used his money to pay Keri's half of a present for the manager, he always makes her free food when she's hungry, he's always talking to her & stuff & James has never did anything for me yet! Well he did take me to the hospital when I got that migrain I was telling you about but before he does something for me then it has to be something like that! He hasn't given me anything yet or massaged me like I do to him or anything like that. I want something to remember him by if something ever happens like if we break up or if he dies or something...I Know that I shouldn't be mad that he didn't give anything becoz you shouldn't have to give each other things but I want him to do something for me like I've done for him! That way I will know more that he cares actually like if he gives me flowers or a card even or something of the like! Am I greedy to be like this?