Im baaack!!!
2002-07-08 || 7:59 p.m.
I don't know why but I've been feeling sooo suicidal lately. Everything litterally seems to upset me no matter how dumb it is. If someone is upset so am I, if I mess up I am upset, if I get yelled at I am upset, if people ignore I get upset, if I am in a bad mood just becoz I get upset, ummmmm what else? Everything!! I have been waiting for weeks for my fricking psych to call me about my group therapy thing for my eating disorder...its taking pretty long for a doctor to call me back...!!
Hmmm what else?? Me & James are the same as always...him & his Warhammer crap & me still wanting to be with him. Typical girlfriend. But I wish if I have nothing good to say about him that I could just leave him but whatever reason its hard...I'm even having feelings for someone else now. A cook named Chris who is also from Denny's. I dunno whenever I'm around him...I feel all weird inside & happy. Its weird for some reason. I don't want to feel like that about someone else until me & James are broken up.
I'm pissed off at the managers rite now. Yes we FINALLY have another late nite S.A on the newest schedule! You think I'd be fucking happy rite!? Wrong! All that's going to happen now is that one of the other S.As going to be a cook! He's been at Denny's for 5 months a few weeks[thats 5 months in Sherwood Park & a few weeks here]& he's moving up before me when they promised me a long time ago!!!! >:( I'm just finding a new job...coz I was going to anyway...!! I want to go on my two week vacation & find a new job, school, hang out with friends more & do whatever & never come back to Dennys! They FUCKING PROMISED me to make me a hostess when they found a new S.A!! They didn't make Brian[the SA]a cook yet but they were talking about it! Who cares if they need more fricking cooks more than hostesses...they can make the SA wait until more get hired like I had to!! Ugh it just makes me mad! I hate being mad at the managers becoz they are kewl to talk to & all but they can't do this!!! =(
Anyway...I wanted to say to Deanna...whats up girl?? I'm glad we're friends again & I'm sorry that I always spend time with James on my days off. If you don't have plans next Tues/Weds
we should really do something then! I like talking to you & youre awesome!! =)
Thats soooo like me to not update for almost a month & be complaining when I do update...I'm such a whiner. And i'm NOT proud of it....