XXX~*Mushy/Sex Talk About Carl*~XXX Youve been warned!! Enter @ own risk!
2004-09-17 || 1:21 p.m.
All i can think about is carl. he was awesome last nite & such a sweet heart. I hate how he is with the money thing. The only thing is I am the stupid one not him. He may be ASKING for it but I am the one GIVING it to him. And I know how it feels to be broke so I would probably bum money off of him. Grrr it sucks. I wish he wasnt like that with the money & I wish that he wanted a serious relationship with me. I am getting stronger feelings for him & I hate it when I have to leave him. It doesnt make me cry but it pisses me off. Stupid school stupid work. Stupid weekend cuz thats the time I can't see him at all. Rite now at the mo I just wish I could spend all my time with him. I cant wait til he gets his own apartment[if he actually keeps a job]cuz he said that when he does I can come over whenever I want. I cant wait to be able to sleep in a normal BED with him instead of a couch or small trailer bed.....!
Okay this mite be a little gross what I am about to talk about but I noticed alot of people talk about this stuff. I am warning you guys now this is SEX talk so if you don't like detailed sex talk then stop reading now!
Carls been the first guy to ever get me excited. Ive slept with 4 guys in my life[one of them was when I was OUT OF IT...more on him later]...James never turned me on & he was my first love who I was with for a year & three months, Kent never got me excited..I wasnt with him very long but he was still my boyfriend at the time...& Carl & I aren't even dating & HE still got me excited & I came for the first time with him & I LOVED it!! I am so addicted to his cock now & cant wait to suck on it every nite I am with him. Hes always talking dirty to me when we are making out or having sex & it turns me on! Grrrrowl! Im learning more about sex then I ever have & now if I actually get a real bf[if me & him dont hook up like he says we might one day heehee :D]then I will be more experienced. Just NO threesomes, NO orgies or NO anal sex rite now. Hes lucky I am doing what I am doing now. Plus I let him cum in my mouth now & I was always scared to do that for some reason thinking about it being gross but its not too bad. Its mostly just salty. Heehee :) I remember when I was even too scared to SUCK a cock never mind let a guy cum in my mouth! And I owe it all to Carl. Plus hes helping me out through my eating disorder thingy instead of DITCHING me & hes going to help me learn to say no & everything. I swear if I get better with all this its Carl who is going to be to thank. I love that guy so much the money thing doesnt matter to me. I dont love his as a boyfriend cuz were not dating but just as a best friend. He even CALLED me his best friend last nite! I already have a best friend of 10 years[Hi Allison if u see this!]& she will ALWAYS be my #1 best friend BUT Carl is like one too becuz I hang out with him alot & he helps me through EVERYTHING & is such a sweetheart! We can talk about EVERYTHING together.
Anyway enough of the mushy Carl talk. Like I said before I saw my "rapist" guy at the bar last nite & he was sitting at the same table as me & we never even said a word to each other until he talked first asking "Why are you acting weird around me?" the dumbass I am I said "Becuz I am tired & out of it with school & everything." Bah stupid me. Tired my ass. I was just drunk & it was the wrong place to talk about that.
Anyway more on Monday I got to go before the computer freezes or something! Ciao!