Why are you like this?
2003-01-18 || 6:38 a.m.
Dear James,
Why do you have to be so hard to stay mad at? Why do I have to love you so much? Why do you have to ignore me like you do? Why did you wait until a year after we've been together before you notice we have nothing in common? Even after you knew I was so in love with you from the beginning & that you were my first kiss, boyfriend & I lost my virginity to you? Why!? Did you really like me from the beginning or did you just want someone to screw? Someone to play games with & use. I love you so much but want to scream my fucking head off at you! I'm sorry that I didn't like precious "Warhammer" the way you do & I'm really sorry I went to Denny's employees to bitch about you ignoring me but I do love you & did everything & anything to make you bloody happy! And what do you do? Break up with me & ignore me for a month! I'm wondering if you did really care about me.....
Anyway I hope that you DO want to be friends with me still. And no I don't just want to be friends who talk at their job together. No thats just employees getting along...that won't do. I mean hang out somewhere or go see a live band somewhere. Coz yah I'm sure you'd drop something major important to hang out with your Warhammer buddies...even if you don't even play it. You never called me unless I left a message on your machine & you were always calling them when I was at your house.
Whatever...I'm not meaning to be rude but I love you still...I just hope you don't treat your next girlfriend like a princess as rude as that sounds. Do you think of me & miss me like I do to you?
I'm trying to move on...its working mostly but somethings make me miss you or piss me off about you.
But whatever you do in your life..if you decide you don't want to be friends over something stupid[ooh i don't obsess over Warhammer]I hope you are happy coz I do care about you & want everything to work out. Too bad it didn't workout for us.